Identity & Forgiveness part 2

No one wants to be continuously reminded when they have done something wrong. They feel like the other person has something over on them--they are afraid it will be hanging over their head forever,right?

The victim can walk in grace & mercy, reminding the offender that their sin does not define who they are either. They can walk confidently in forgiveness, knowing their transgressions have been washed away by the sacrifice of Christ---forever.

Often, an 'offender' may feel as if they are forever 'under' the label of their transgression, they will always be remembered as, "the one who did _________", or "the insert label of transgression here".

Going back to the Word of God, just as the 'victim', there is freedom. Christ does not recognize us as our transgression. Psalm 103:12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. He sees us just as he created us, fearfully and wonderfully made.

If an offender becomes defensive it is usually due to mistaken identity, feeling as if they are only seen as the sum of their sins. A 'victim' can graciously remind the 'offender' that they are loved and forgiven.

Although we are humans striving to be like Christ--we are not Christ. Healing must occur, which only God can do. I believe one way He heals us is through his Word, reminding us of who we truly are. Saturate yourself, in His Holy Word! His breathe, allow Christ to breathe your identity into you, even on a moment by moment basis, the breathe of life!

Both part 1 & part 2 are more for those relationships that we are involved in on a daily basis, like the marital one. Some offenses do not require continued contact. For those relationships that we truly desire reconciliation, I believe it all boils down to identity. When we know our true identity in Christ, forgiveness is a natural byproduct.

Idenity & Forgiveness Part 1

I have heard enough sermons about *forgiveness*. Usually they focus on the mandate that we *must* forgive. I can't remember ever hearing about the offender's part in making amends.

I did some Bible searching. It has a bit to say about making amends. I think so often, these days, the emphasis is put on the one who has been offended to do the forgiving and the idea of making amends is over looked. Why? I have even heard this psycho-politically-correct idea of forgiving yourself.

I believe the offender can actually HELP the one they have offended. I believe making amends actually aids in the healing & forgiving process.

When a 'victim' (for lack of a better word) is so deeply affected by an offense committed against them---I believe it can be traced back to a lack of proper identity. When a 'victim' realizes their true identity, in Christ, the offense is not part of who they are & healing can happen leading to true forgiveness.

I believe the offender can help by understanding that when anger is shown, it is the victims way of revealing their hurt or the wound that is still there, unhealed, caused by the offense. The offender is not held captive by their offense because they have realized their own true identity as well. They know they are no longer the "offender"-in Christ their sins are forgotten.

The victim needs help remembering who they truly are too--they are no longer the "victim" but are a beautiful creation of God. In those moments, the offender would do well to respond in loving kindness to the one they have hurt--remind the one you love how much you DO love them, admit they did NOT deserve to be mistreated---why? simply because they are a child of GOD!

to be continued.....